BY MADELINE BURDINE
War is real. That isn’t a surprise to anyone.
We hear and see news about physical wars happening outside of our country’s borders.
We witness word wars fought between people who hold opposing opinions.
We wage wars with peers that often end up weighing heavier on our own hearts than the weight the argument even had to begin with.
We know war. We’ve lived our lives learning how to maneuver our way through one after another. We’re always exhausted yet always expectant of the next one. We’re at war.
So, we question. Why, God? Where can peace be found? Why does the weight of war continue to turn our country/our world/our relationships/our hearts into a wasteland? Where is God in the midst of our mess?
So, I have to shout it out to the masses.
To my friends.. coworkers.. strangers.. myself..
I am the mess.
I began experiencing the battles of brokenness while still in high school. For me, these battles were small battles that made up a much larger war -- a war that was waging so deeply in my core that I ultimately lost control. The army of me, myself, and I turned on me.
I remember those terrifying moments of mental torture that left me in a complete call-out-to-Jesus. Those questions… Why, God? Where can peace be found? Why does the weight of war continue to turn my heart into a wasteland? Where are You in the midst of my mess?
My life lifted those questions up to God (more like yelled at God most of the time), leaving me so empty and confused when those questions returned void. The voidness left me voiceless, feeling God less and less. I suspect maybe you’ve been here too.
My control, thoughts, and own mind became my biggest enemies. I became my biggest enemy. It was me I was up against.
It was never God against Madeline. It was Madeline against Madeline. Me against me.
How strange, right? To be in war with yourself.. what a waste. What are we thinking?
That is the reality we are wrestling. Here in our broken world, nation, homes, and hearts...
We are the mess. We are the war.
The realization of our inner canyons of chaos is the realization that begins breaking down the barriers between our war zones and the One we worship.
The Bible that I read tells me we win this war. If only we would step out of the way to our very own open door to victory. Steps. Steps that have to be taken every day.
So, I’ll ask you and your wars.. What if it isn’t God you’re up against?
Madeline Burdine is a Communications major with PR concentration at Mississippi State University. As Editor of Mississippi Millennials, her passion is to push people to higher heights within themselves, thinking more and doing more. Pursuing a career as a writer, Madeline enjoys running, reading, and learning.